Il lungo addio
L'amore è strano. Si può amare una donna, un'idea, una terra, una parola, un ricordo, un'immagine, una canzone, ma anche l'anima di una persona mai conosciuta se non attraverso la sua arte. Apparentemente sembra poco, ma non lo è. Conquistare un cuore è sempre un'impresa difficile. Così posso dire di aver amato l'anima e la sensibilità di Elliott Smith, perchè attraverso le sue canzoni, la sua arte era possibile intravedere tutta la sua delicatezza cristallina, limpida come uno specchio d'acqua lievemente increspato dal vento. Ma sotto l'acqua c'era buio e tormento. Elliott era una lucente malinconia, il suo cuore un universo di stelle, per questo mi conquistò facilmente, senza bisogno di un lungo assedio.
Oggi, però, ascoltando la sua musica le mie sensazioni sono più confuse, perchè mi è impossibile separare l'arte di Elliott dalla sua tragica fine, avvenuta appena un anno fa. Il rimpianto è enorme. Non mi è facile, quindi, parlare di questo disco postumo appena pubblicato. So che era un progetto su cui Elliott aveva lavorato a lungo e che può di fatto essere considerato un lavoro completo, solamente da limare. Ma in verità mi ha un po' infastidito il "tempismo" di questa pubblicazione nel primo anniversario della morte. Però c'è dell'altro. A volte ascoltandolo non riesco a trattenere la rabbia. Non riesco proprio ad accettare che Elliott non ci sia più, quando aveva così tanto da raccontare, da donare. "From A Basement On The Hill" ne è la prova. E' un disco splendido, che si rilascia dall'inizio alla fine, mantenendo intatta tutta la sua intensità tra ballate, chitarre acustiche e frammenti elettrici. Un lungo respiro. Sorprende la sua capacità di emozionare e lacerare nello stesso tempo. Sì è un disco bellissimo, che però riesce a farmi star male, perchè è l'epilogo amaro di un'anima tormentata. Perchè mi sento un po' in colpa nel provare emozioni da una voce che nessuno potrà mai udire se non proveniente da un dischetto di plastica. E continuo ad ascoltarlo e riascoltarlo, non posso farne a meno, così come non riesco a non pensare che vivere costa, non è facile. E gli anticorpi per questa assurda, meravigliosa e orribile malattia che è la vita non sono presenti in tutti. C'è chi non riesce a farna a meno, anche pagando il costo di soffrire come un cane giorno dopo giorno, chi invece non ce la fa a vivere il suo inferno sulla terra, svegliandosi ogni mattina senza sapere come arrivare al tramonto, senza una ragione. Ma perchè è così difficile?
Dammi una sigaretta, sì una sigaretta. Lo so che ho smesso, ma adesso voglio una sigaretta. Perchè non me ne frega niente. Voglio fumarla rabbiosamente, nervosamente, finchè non diventerà un tizzone. E il vento la fumerà con me, si consumerà in fretta. L'ultimo tiro un po' amaro per il filtro bruciacchiato è quello che fa più male, dicono, ma sarà anche il più bello. Prima che si spenga del tutto la getterò via e osserverò quella piccola parabola luminosa che disegnerà in aria. E dopo abbracciami, perchè ne avrò bisogno.
Elenco tracce testi e samples
01 Coast to Coast (05:34)
Last stop for a resolution
End of the line, is it confusion, so go
I can't see what's there for you
Nothing new, nothing new for you to use
I've got no new act to amuse you
I've got no desire to use you, you know
But anything that I could do
Would never be good enough for you
If you can't help it then just leave it alone
Leave it alone, yeah, just forget it
It's really easy
I believe I'll forget it too
Still you're keeping me around
'Til I finally drag us both down
Pulling feathers out your hat
Yes I believe that's where it's at
You belong tagging along
And I belong in the zoo
So I wait for confirmation
That you're never gonna use your starting gun
Unless its me it sounds like
Being here just wasn't that much fun
Anything that I could do
Would never be good enough for you
If you can't help it then just leave it alone
Leave me alone, yeah, just forget it
It's really easy, I'll just forget it too
Coast to coast, coast to coast
I'll do what I can so you can be what you do
Coast to coast, coast to coast
I'll do everything I can so you can be what you do
Coast to coast, coast to coast
Circuit rider comes every fifth Sunday
Oh my lord, I fell asleep one day
Anything that I could do
Is there anything that I could do
That someone doesn't do for you
That someone didn't do for you
That I haven't already done for you
06 A Fond Farewell (03:57)
The Litebrite's now black and white
'Cause they took apart a picture that wasn't right
Pitch burning on a shining sheet
The only maker that you'd want to meet
A dying man in a living room
Whose shadow paces the floor
He'll take you out any open door
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
He said really I just wanna dance
Good and evil matched perfect it's a great romance
I can deal with some psychic pain
If it'll slow down my higher brain
Veins full of disappearing ink
Vomiting in the kitchen sink
Disconnecting from the missing link
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
I see you're leaving me and taking up with the enemy
The cold comfort of the in between
A little less than a human being
A little less than a happy high
A little less than a suicide
The only things that you really tried
This is not my life
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
It's not what I'm like
It's just a fond farewell to a friend
Who couldn't get things right
Fond farewell to a friend
09 Twilight (04:30)
Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don't want to see the day when it's dying
She's a sight to see, she's good to me
I'm already somebody's baby
She's a pretty thing and she knows everything
But I'm already somebody's baby
You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together
I'm nice to you, I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby
Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I'm tired of being down, I got no fight
You're wonderful, when it's beautiful
But I'm already somebody's baby
And if I went with you I'd disappoint you too
Well, I'm already somebody's baby
Already somebody's baby
12 Shooting Star (06:01)
Do make the scene like you always do
Going up stream down the avenue
To fuck some trophy boy
That you win tonight at the bar
So bad, so far
You'll make him sad, shooting star
When it was me
I was momentarily proud
Drunk on dreams
Now I'm glad I didn't say out loud
You said you'd be for real
But I don't believe that you are
So bad, so far
You make me sad, shooting star
You're distant and cold
And a sight to behold
Everybody just sighs
No one gets off
With you very long
'Cause you don't feel bad when you lie
I'm going to sleep now
Going back to find square one
Square two will be where
I can deal with the shit you've just done
It won't be soon
To say the least it's gonna be hard
So bad, so far
Your love is sad, shooting star
Your love is sad, shooting star
13 Memory Lane (02:30)
This is the place you end up
When you lose the chase
Where you're dragged against your will
From a basement on the hill
And all anybody knows
Is you're not like them
And they kick you in the head
And send you back to bed
Isolation pulled you passed a tunnel to a bright
World where you can make a place to stay
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
The mayor's name is fear
His force patrols the pier
From a mountain of cliche
That advances everyday
The doctor spoke a cloud
He rained out loud
You'll keep your doors and windows shut
And swear you'll never show a soul again
But isolation pushes you 'til every muscle aches
Down the only road it ever takes
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
If it's your decision
To be open about yourself
Be careful or else
Be careful or else
I'm comfortable apart
It's all written on my chart
And I take what's given me
Most cooperatively
I do what people say
And lie in bed all day
Absolutely horrified
I hope you're satisfied
Isolation pushes past self-hatred, guilt and shame
To a place where suffering is just a game
But everybody's scared of this place
They're staying away
Your little house on Memory Lane
Your little house on Memory Lane
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