David Bowie

Strikes the bell for 5 o'clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop
Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up
Climbs across his bike and he's away
Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street
Back to mother, it's another empty day

Uncle Arthur likes his mommy
Uncle Arthur still reads comics
Uncle Arthur follows Batman

Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from Mum
On his 32nd birthday, told her that he'd found a chum
Mother cried and raved and yelled and fussed
Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion
Sally was the real thing, not just lust

Uncle Arthur vanished quickly
Uncle Arthur and his new bride
Uncle Arthur follows Sally

Round and round goes Arthur's head, hasn't eaten well for days
Little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze
Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled
Back to mother, all's forgiven, serving in the family shop
He gets his pocket money, he's well fed

Uncle Arthur past the gasworks
Uncle Arthur past the river
Uncle Arthur down the high street
Uncle Arthur follows mother

Rubber Band
There's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune
In the library garden Sunday afternoon
While a little chappie waves a golden wand

Rubber Band
In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong
My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes

Dear Rubber Band, you're playing my tune out of tune, oh

Rubber Band
Won't you play a haunting theme again to me
While I eat my scones and drink my cup of tea
The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon

Oh, play that theme

Rubber Band
How I wish that I could join your Rubber Band
We could play in lively parks throughout the land
And one Sunday afternoon, I'd find my love

Rubber Band,
In the '14-'18 war I went to sea
Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me
And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh

(spoken)
Oh sob... I hope you break your baton

Let me introduce you to the gang
Johnny plays the sitar, he's an existentialist
Once he had a name, now he plays our game
You won't feel so good now that you've joined the gang

Molly is the model in the ads
Crazy clothes and acid full of soul and crazy hip
Someone switched her on, then her beam went wrong
Cause she can't switch off now that she's joined the gang

Arthur is a singer with a band
Arthur drinks two bottles just before he goes on stage
Look at Arthur rave, all the kids are paid
They want to see the croaking man who joined the gang

You won't be alone, we've all got beery grins
It's a big illusion but at least you're in
At least you're in

This club's called The Webb, it's this month's pick
Next month we shall find a place where prices aren't so stiff
15 bob a coke, 'fraid that's past a joke
This is how to spend now that you've joined the gang

This is what to do now that you're here
Sit round doing nothing all together very fast
Psychedelic stars, throwing down cigars
They're picking up the joints now that they've joined the gang