Beelzebubba
Album - 1988 - Debaser id 15600

Hey!
I do not like you college brat
I do not like you and your frat
I do not like you at the shore
I do not like you drunk on Coors
I do not like your average life
I hope you do not take a wife
I hope you don't decide to breed
Cause that's one thing I do not need

I do not like you radical
I hate you and your fancy school
You're wrong about the working class
I hope they kick your Harvard ass
I do not like you world of ours
I'd rather live on planet Mars
And die from lack of oxygen
Than breathe the air of other men
Hey!

I'm gonna beat my wife
I'm gonna beat my wife now
Gonna smack her with a lead pipe
Gonna smack her with a 2x4
Run her over with a Brink's truck
Chase her down with a lawn mower

Gonna beat my wife
Look out!

Wife beatin'
Mistreatin'
Wife slappin'
It happens

Gonna beat my wife
Gonna beat your wife
Gonna beat his wife
Gonna beat her wife
Gonna beat my wife
Gonna slap my wife
Gonna kick my wife
Good God, y'all!

Gonna beat my wife
Gonna beat my wife
At the shelter
Helter skelter

Wife kickin'
Finger lickin'
Wife killin'
It's thrillin'

Oh baby please don't beat me, baby
I promise I'll never sleep with the moon in my face no more!

I'm gonna beat my wife
Heh heh heh

You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here, in the trailer park.

Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,
Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing
to the soil!

You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid. Some of the neighbors
say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.

Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are
doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago, the summer
my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer. The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just
like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
his head over by the snow cone concession.

A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet
in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our
soil?"

Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa,
for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.

You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other
people, here in this trailer park.

Sometimes I smell like a barrel of rotting fruit
Stinking up the jungle under the hot tropical sun
Other times I smell like thick black swamp-water
Backed into your toilet on a warm summer day

These are a few of my many smells
Won't you come and smell me?
Won't you share my stench?
Won't you come and smell me?
Won't you share my stench?

Once I smelled just like the bathroom
After Grandma'd used it and she's been eating prunes
Other times I smell like a city garbage strike
When all the horseflies grow to 3 inches long

These are a few of my many smells
Won't you come and smell me?
Won't you share my stench?
Won't you come and smell me?
Won't you share my stench?

Sometimes I smell just like death itself
A sickening sweet smell
It can really make you ill

Smell me
Smell me
Smell me
Smell me
See me
Hear me
Touch me
Smell me
Smell me
Smell me
Smell me
Smell me

Burrow owl burrow owl burrow owl

Smokin' banana peels, see how it feels
Living is easy with ice cubes
The world is swimmin' with electric eels
Talk seriously to me brother
Smokin' banana peels, savin' the seals
There are four me's living all together
Got to keep an even keel
You've got to take life serially
Smokin' banana peels in between meals
I was all pumped up about the iron
Let's all pray get down and kneel

Smokin' banana peels sound like this

Mellow, it's so mellow
Mellow, it's so mellow
No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
Mellow, it's so mellow oh oh oh-oh oh
Mellow, it's so mellow
No! It's too mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
No! It's so mellow! ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya

Smokin' banana peels, nothin' is real
Mites are living in your eyelashes
People are makin' important deals
They're my fingernails and I'm keeping em
Smokin' banana peels, savin' the seals
(???)
Up and down between your heels
Dip your breasts in shimmering lip balm
Talk to me about Elvis
Take Elvis for walk and shut up

Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me

Look at that girl she makes me sick
She's got a wad of bills 6 inches thick
Got a brand new stereo a new TV
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I want a stereo I want a TV

Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me

People in nice cars how'd they get em?
I close my eyes try to forget em
Went out swimming got hit by a jet-ski
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I wanna car I wanna jet-ski

Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me

She's got eyes of deepest blue
He's got hair that's green
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I wish I had the kind of cash
To make heads turn when I walk past
I wish I could live in luxury

Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I want cash, I want money
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I want a stereo I want a TV
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I want a car I want a jet-ski
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
I want hair that's blue or green
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me
Everybody's got nice stuff but me

Howard beware 'cause we don't wanna hurt you
While the sun is shining, that'd be cruel
Howard beware 'cause we're gonna get you
We know where your kids go to school

Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Cause you're so easy to scare
You'll hide from the shadows
And everybody knows

Howard beware the Russians they don't like you
Might as well drop the bomb on you
Howard beware the government won't protect you
Like to see you turned into Howard stew

Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Cause you're so easy to scare
You'll hide from the shadows
And everybody knows

Howard beware the neighbors wanna kill you
Might just all form an angry mob
Howard beware your mother has disowned you
Says that you're a pervert and a slob

Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Howard Howard beware
Cause you're so easy to scare
You'll hide from the shadows
And everybody knows