In un mondo dove aumentano sempre più i dubbi, posso dire di avere almeno una certezza: io odio Piero Scaruffi. Insopportabile e pretenzioso, Scaruffi incarna alla perfezione la figura del critico musicale, con quel mix di nerdaggine e finta tuttologia che spesso la contraddistingue. Ad aggiungere elementi di interesse (si fa per dire) ci pensa il suo sito Internet, un’accozzaglia di approssimazioni e Times New Roman paragonabile a un fossile di Diplodocus (avete dato uno sguardo alla grafica? Probabilmente un Triceratops avrebbe fatto di meglio).
A metà tra il delirio di onnipotenza e il desiderio di catalogare lo scibile umano, lo sforzo di Piero contiene dei momenti di insperata illuminazione: basta visitare la pagina dedicata agli Aqua, gruppo scandinavo noto tra la fine degli anni Novanta e l’inizio del nuovo millennio. Influenzato dalla beltà della cantante Lene Grawford Nystrøm o reduce da una serata in discoteca trascorsa a tampinare pettorute milf, il saggista di Trivero partorisce uno dei capitoli più geniali della sua evitabile attività, consistente in un sette dato ad Aquarium, esordio della band nordeuropea. La notizia ha dell’incredibile, poiché Scaruffi riserva questo voto alle composizioni di Johann Sebastian Bach o, in alternativa, ad album misconosciuti di cantautori angloiraniani.
Spinto dal prodigio e dalla incredibile convergenza di eventi ho deciso di rispolverare Aquarium, primo CD acquistato dal sottoscritto nel lontano 1997 (ebbene sì, chi lo avrebbe mai detto). Ad attirare l’attenzione ci pensa subito la foto di copertina, che ritrae il quartetto in una divertente posa subacquea, condita da filtri alla Barbara D’Urso e da un invidiabile gusto kitsch. Dopo aver sbirciato la tracklist scopriamo che il disco contiene undici tracce per circa quaranta minuti di musica, un buon biglietto da visita per un album pop senza grandi pretese. Riguardo al sound c’è poco da dire: non siamo di fronte a suite minimaliste o a interminabili jam session di stampo psichedelico, ma a un onesto prodotto dance-pop, ottimamente confezionato dal tastierista Søren Rasted e dal chitarrista Claus Norreen. Le parti vocali sono affidate alla già citata Lene e a René Dif, inquietante omaccione dal timbro baritonale (questa definizione la devo a Piero), animale da palco spesso al centro delle attenzioni per una presunta love-story con la bella norvegese (gli altri componenti sono danesi).
Partendo da queste premesse inizia il viaggio in compagnia degli Aqua, un percorso che si rivela più vario e persino più emozionante del previsto. Certo, è impossibile non menzionare i singoli sfornati in rapida successione dalla band: “My Oh My”, “Doctor Jones”, “Roses Are Red”, “Lollipop (Candyman)” e soprattutto “Barbie Girl”, vero e proprio tormentone che, oltre a causare agli Aqua beghe legali per l’utilizzo del nome della famosa bambola, cambia per sempre la carriera dei nostri amici, trasformandoli in superstar internazionali. La ricetta dei brani è sempre la stessa, ma incredibilmente vincente: testi semplici e ammiccanti, sonorità eurodance (qualcuno direbbe “bubblegum”) e tanta voglia di divertirsi. Senza dimenticare i videoclip, dove René e compagni interpretano storie ispirate al mondo dei cartoon, ricche di ironia e momenti clowneschi (di nuovo grazie, Piero).
Tuttavia Aquarium è anche altro. Ancora oggi, ad esempio, sono sorpreso dalle atmosfere latine di “Heat of the Night” e da alcuni pezzi “seri”, che spezzano la tensione in maniera ammirevole. Tralasciando “Good Morning Sunshine” (forse la traccia più debole, con un inserto rap non proprio riuscito), possiamo ricordare “Be a Man”, un lento che esalta le doti vocali di Lene (alle altre abbiamo accennato in precedenza), e soprattutto la pregevole “Turn Back Time”, dove il pop degli Aqua diviene sofisticato (la canzone sarà poi inserita nella colonna sonora di Sliding Doors: mica pizza e fichi). Aggiungiamoci due brani come “Happy Boys & Girls” e “Calling You”, ballabili e smaccatamente radiofonici, e il gioco è fatto.
A questo punto è evidente che il famoso sette ad Aquarium non è il risultato di un’intossicazione da peyote, inavvertitamente sperimentato da Scaruffi durante una visita a un suo amico hippie (ricordiamo che il critico, per nostra fortuna, risiede a San Francisco), quanto il risultato di una lucida analisi, una delle poche che mi sia capitato di leggere sul suo sgangherato ed enciclopedico sito.
Orsù, dunque: largo ai “poliritmi esuberanti”, alle “eccentricità distribuite con parsimonia”, ai “contrappunti melodici dalle timbriche cristalline”, qualunque cosa essi siano. Abbandoniamo per un attimo i nostri album seminali e tuffiamoci nell’idiozia, nella stupidaggine mai spiacevole, nello “humour più latino che nordico”. Piero ha acceso lo stereo, comincia la festa.
In the heat of the night
We are having a fiesta
We dance until siesta
When the sun comes alive
Oh
Voto del DeRecensore: 4/4,5
Elenco tracce testi e video
02 My Oh My (03:27)
(Chorus 1)
My oh my do you wanna say goodbye?
To have their Kingdom, baby, tell me why?
My oh my do you wanna say goodbye?
To rule a country, baby, you and I?
If you were my King....
[Chorus 1]
A little princess in a terrible mess,
a kingdom alone, with no lovers confess,
dreams of a prince on a tall white horse,
runs like a spirit by the castle walls.
(Chorus 2)
Gotta steal from the rich, when they don't know I'm coming,
gotta give to the poor, no time for lovin'
My oh my don't you cry, 'coz there is no way I'm staying,
I will leave say "bye bye", I'm going my way...
[Chorus 1]
(Chorus 3)
If you were my King...
Whoa oh oh
I would be your queen....
Whoa oh oh
If you were my King...
Whoa oh oh
I would be your queen....
Whoa oh oh
Mystery deep in the royal heart,
crying at night, I wanna be a part
Prince, oh, prince, are you really sincere,
that you one day are gonna disappear
[Chorus 2]
My oh my, whoa oh oh
My oh my, whoa oh oh
My oh my, whoa oh oh
My oh my
[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 3]
03 Barbie Girl (03:20)
- Hiya, Barbie!
- Hi, Ken!
- You wanna go for a ride?
- Sure, Ken!
- Jump in!
''Chorus:''
I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
''Chorus''
I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world
Dress me up, make me talk, I'm your dollie
(ken)
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour and pain
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky
You can touch, you can play
if you say I'm always yours, oohoh
''Chorus''
''Bridge:''
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Ah ah ah yeah
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Ooh woa, ooh woa
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Ah ah ah yeah
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
Ooh woa, ooh woa
Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party
You can touch, you can play
if you say, I'm always yours
You can touch, you can play
if you say, I'm always yours
''Bridge''
''Chorus x2''
''Bridge''
- Oh, I'm having so much fun!
- Well Barbie, we're just gettin' started
- Oh, I love you Ken!
04 Good Morning Sunshine (04:07)
When the sun is up,
on a clear blue sky,
you will act like a lover.
When the sky is grey,
and the rain comes down,
you will run for cover.
(Chorus 1)
Feel the heat, come out of cold,
and your arm is touching me.
(Chorus 2)
Good morning sunshine,
you are my only light,
flying with me by my side,
you keep me warm all day.
Just stay with me.
(Chorus 3)
Good morning sunshine,
be with me all day,
Just don't let the rain pass you by,
when it's cloudy or windy
and the snowflakes arrive,
you somehow just make me,
make me feel I'm alive.
When you leave my field
then you light the stars
Fading away in horizon
there is a million streets
leading off the night,
waiting for sun to be risen
[Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2]
[Chorus 3]
Hold it right there,
let me take a minute of your time,
to explain how I feel through these rhymes.
I do the best I can, and believe me if I could
I'll build you a paradise with these two hands.
the touch of your skin, makes my body go numb,
I'm thinking to myself, has my dream come true,
or is it 'cause you never give me a chance to tell you how I feel
the moments we had were too precious to kill.
When it is cloudy or windy,
please turn your face at me
[Chorus 2]
[Chorus 3]
Make me feel I'm alive...
05 Doctor Jones (03:26)
Sometimes, the feeling is right,
you fall in love for the first time
heartbeat, and kisses so sweet,
summertime love in the moonlight.
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Now that summer is gone, you have to go back home.
Please come and see me again, I never felt more alone.
Baby, I'm missing you
I want you by my side.
And I hope you miss me too
Come back and stay.
I think about you every day
I really want you too.
You swept my feet right off the ground, you're the love I found.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Get up now.
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Wake up now.
Wake up now.
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
All I think of is you,
and all of the things we had.
Doctor, what can I do?
Why does he have to be like that?
Baby, I'm missing you
I want you by my side.
And I hope you'll miss me too
Come back and stay.
I think about you every day
I really want you to.
You swept my feet right off the ground, you're the love I found.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Get up now.
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Wake up now.
Wake up now.
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Please, please cure me.
Please, please cure me.
Please, please cure me.
Please, please cure me.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Wake up now.
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Aye yippey aye oo
Aye yippey aye yeah
Aye yippey aye oo wah
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Get up now.
Wake up now.
Doctor Jones, Jones,
Calling Doctor Jones
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,
Wake up now.
Wake up now.
06 Heat of the Night (03:38)
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
we dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
let's dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
oooh oooh ooh ooooh
I've been waiting for summertime to come
welcome beaches, lying in the sun
music playing, people everywhere
no need to worry, the tequila is here
And when the sun goes down we are having fun,
'cause there will be a party going on...
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
we dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
let's dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
oooh oooh ooh ooooh
Heat of the night.
Heat of the night.
Life is easy, on a holiday
only problems seem so far away,
the bar is open, and everybody sings:
"excuse me senorita, for you free drinks"
And when the sun goes down we are having fun,
'cause there will be a party going on...
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
we dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
let's dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
oooh oooh ooh ooooh
Heat of the night.
'Cause when the sun goes down we are having fun,
and there will be a party going on...
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
In the heat of the night, night
we are having a fiesta,
"Let's swing it copa de dance!"
"Hola senorita, let's go to the beach."
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
we dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
In the heat of the night,
we are having a fiesta,
let's dance until siesta,
when the sun comes alive.
Heat of the night.
Heat of the night.
07 Be a Man (04:26)
The world is quiet,
Like there's no one around,
But I feel you beside me.
I know the secrets,
You keep locked away inside,
Don't understand why you're fighting.
I know, she must be special,
This new girl by your side,
I seek the answers,
When I look into your eyes,
And it hurts like hell but I will be strong.
(Chorus)
For once in your life,
Be a man,
Just tell me the words,
'Cause I know that you can,
Don't leave me with scars,
That no one can heal.
For once in your life - be a man.
You made me love you,
Love you right from the start.
You're controlling my heart, babe.
Don't pack your bags yet.
Give me time to say goodbye.
(Say goodbye)
Just don't leave me wounded.
Now,
I just hope you will regret the things you do
Come back to me,
'Cause our love is the real thing.
And and it hurts like hell but I will be strong.
[Chorus]
I knew that I,
I fought to keep our love strong.
If you leave me now,
You come running back for more, babe.
And I hope for,
And I wish for,
And I pray,
That the words from your mouth can,
Eventually make you a man.
For once in your life,
Be a man.
When everything stops...
...for a minute in your life,
I'll hope that,
[Chorus]
Be a man.
Tell me the words.
Once in your life.
Be a man.
Tell me the words.
08 Lollipop (Candyman) (03:39)
I am the Candyman - Coming from Bountyland.
I am the Candyman - Coming from Bountyland.
I wish that you were my Lollipop.
Sweet things, I will never get enough.
If you show me to the sugar tree,
will you give me a sodapop for free.
Come with me Honey,
I'm your sweet sugar Candyman.
Run like the wind - fly with me to Bountyland.
Bite me, I'm yours - if you're hungry please understand.
This is the end - of the sweet sugar Candyman.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - your word is my command.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - let us fly to Bountyland.
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top
I wish that I were a Bubblegum,
chewing on me baby all day long.
I will be begging for sweet delight,
until you say I'm yours tonight.
Come with me Honey,
I'm your sweet sugar Candyman.
Run like the wind - fly with me to Bountyland.
Bite me, I'm yours - if you're hungry please understand.
This is the end - of the sweet sugar Candyman.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - your word is my command.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - let us fly to Bountyland.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - your word is my command.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - let us fly to Bountyland.
I am the Candyman - Coming from Bountyland
I am the Candyman - Coming from Bountyland
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - your word is my command.
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,
And oh my love - let us fly to Bountyland.
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top
09 Roses Are Red (03:48)
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you
Roses are red and
Violets are blue.
ad id aid id mud
ad id aid id mud
Dum di da di dam
(repeat 6 times)
Come pick my Roses!
Sweet from the flowers
honey from the bees
I got a feeling, I'm ready to release
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet,
but not as sweet as you.
It's invisible but, so touchable
And I can feel it on my body,
so emotional.
I'm on a ride, on a ride
I'm a passenger.
I'm a victim of a heart love messenger.
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
The only thing you said was
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
Dum di da di da
And roses are red.
Come with me baby,
Please fulfill my wish
Show it to me truly,
Show me with a kiss.
Roses are red and
Violets are blue
Honey is sweet,
but not as sweet as you.
It's invisible but, so touchable
And I can feel it on my body,
so emotional.
I'm on a ride, on a ride
I'm a passenger.
I'm a victim of a heart love messenger.
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
The only thing you said was
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
And roses are red.
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
The only thing you said was
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
ad id aid id mud
ad id aid id mud
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Don't take my roses away!
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
The only thing you said was
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
And roses are red.
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
The only thing you said was
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
Dum di da di dam
My roses are red.
oooh oooh oooh, yeah!
ad id aid id mud
ad id aid id mud
10 Turn Back Time (04:12)
Give me time to reason,
Give me time to think it through.
Passing through the season,
Where I cheated you.
I will always have a cross to wear,
But the bolt reminds me I was there.
So give me strength,
To face this test tonight.
If only I could turn back time,
If only I had said what I still hide.
If only I could turn back time,
I would stay for the night... for the night
Claim your right to science,
Claim your right to see the truth
Though my pangs of conscience,
Will drill a hole in you.
I've seen it coming like a thief in the night,
I've seen it coming from the flash of your light.
So give me strength,
to face this test tonight
If only I could turn back time,
if only I had said what I still hide
if only I could turn back time,
I would stay.
The bolt reminds me I was there
the bolt reminds me I was there
(repeat chorus until fade out)
11 Calling You (03:33)
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now I'm calling you
Calling you now
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
Ohh oh-oh-oh
I-yi-yi can't get my message through
Why-yi-yi don't you pick up the phone
All my love is running down the line
But you won't receive it, no, no
I-yi-yi will miss the sweet words
And cry-yi-yi if you tell me the same
What I hear is just a old, lame
Occupied signal tone
Operator all you have to do
is connect me. I am waiting for it
Help me, I am waiting to be
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
Ohh oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh
I-yi-yi, I call you once again
And I-yi-yi resist to give in
Now my love is running down the drain
So you won't receive it, no, no
I-yi-yi will miss the sweet words
And cry-yi-yi if you tell me the same
What I hear is just a old, lame
Occupied signal tone
Operator all you have to do is connect me
I am waiting for it
Help me, I am waiting to be
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
Ohh oh-oh-oh
I-yi-yi - Operator
I-yi-yi - Operator
I-yi-yi - Operator
I-yi-yi - Operator
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
C-A-L-L-I-N-G now. I'm calling you
Calling you now
Ohh oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Ohh oh-oh-oh
Carico i commenti... con calma
