• Voto:
Quest'uomo ha venduto in America più di venti milioni di dischi. Qui in Italia lo si conosce però soprattutto (per non dire esclusivamente) per essere il coatto che rimpiazzò l'altrettanto coatto (nonché suo odierno nemico giurato) Tommy Lee nelle grazie di Pamela Anderson, per averla anch'egli (come Lee) impalmata, fatta figliare, tenuta buona il minimo sindacale ed aver da essa recentemente divorziato. Lo abbiamo fin qui sottovalutato, considerandolo "il signor Anderson di turno"? E' probabile, dato che Pamelona, pur garantendo sovraesposizione mediatica, dal punto di vista della credibilità artistica rappresenta un grosso scoglio (due grossi scogli). D'altronde la playmate per eccellenza, essendo stata con Brett Anderson dei Poison, col succitato ultratatuato Tommy Lee (e chissà con quanta altra feccia-rock californiana senza mai raggiungere l'altare o finire su internet), ci porta all'assunto, per associazione d'idee, che chi se la intenda con lei non può corrispondere ad un artista degno di considerazione, né tantomeno ad un uomo con un minimo di stile! Figuriamoci chi se la sposa!
Comunque sia andata, è bene dirlo, oramai quella relazione ed il relativo mastodonte mediatico-gossipparo sono acqua passata, e mentre la Anderson ha un nuovo marito ed un nuovo pargolo in grembo, Kid Rock ha un nuovo disco, e non ha più alcuna barriera tra sé e noi... La sua nuova vita di artista comincia da qui, da questo primo cd di Kid Rock e basta, e non più di "Kid Rock, il nuovo coatto che si scopa Pamela Anderson, quella di Baywatch"!
Ed allora? Com'è dunque questo Kid Rock? Il solito californiano tutto tatuaggi o magari qualcosina di più? Questo disco è una risposta più che eloquente, e che non ammette repliche di sorta. Da quanto ascoltiamo, si apprende che il tizio, all'anagrafe Robert James Ritchie, ha poche idee, e che quelle di cui dispone gli servono per concepire brani di una bruttezza senza pari. Emblematica "All Summer Long", sorta di rock-remix di "Sweet Home Alabama", ma suonata da una vera rock band. Il riff più celebre della storia del rock dopo "Satisfaction" torna e ritorna, il titolo del capolavoro viene citato e stracitato, le sonorità sono identiche... Dico non poteva lasciarla ad un rock dj qualsiasi?
Il freak museum in questo cd prevede anche "Roll On", ballad le cui strofe hanno passaggi praticamente scopiazzati dalla versione unplugged di "The Saddest Song" degli Ataris (il che è tutto dire!), mentre i ritornelli sono dei miscugli tra il groove dei Creedence Clearwater Revival ed il retrogusto delle più recenti ballads dei Red Hot Chili Peppers: praticamente, ritornelli in stile CCRRHCP!
Il tour prosegue con "So Hott", dai riffoni slabbrati che sembrano degli Stone Temple Pilots privati del Seattle Sound quale standard musicale da raggiungere partendo dalla lontana San Diego. Ed ancora il vomitevole rapblueshardrock di "Sugar", in cui Kid Rock è un mostro per metà Fred Durst e per l'altra metà Axl Rose (mamma che schifo!). E come potersi fermare in questa dolorissima escalation, quando hai a che fare con "New Orleans", un dixie-country, un charleston-blues, una chimera terrificante che diventa country classico nel ritornello senza pretese, quasi ad erigersi ad emblema della resa di Kid Rock al cospetto dell'evidente infruttuosità dei suoi esperimenti genetici? Per la serie: "meglio che me ne torno a fare cose normali, che non passino osservate, ché se mi metto a fare il mitico faccio solo figuremmè"... E cos'altro si può fare, se "Don't Tell Me You Love Me" ha dei ritornelli in coro alla Joan Jett (o alla Motley Crue) innestati su di un country sudista?
Non resterebbero che pochi altri brani, in cui Kid Rock, se non fa niente di bello, perlomeno non genera altri mostri di Frankenstein: la title-track è un pezzo rock degli Aerosmith reso troppo pulitino, ed il ragazzo roccia non ha il giusto mordente nelle corde vocali. Nella seguente "Amen", rock contadino dalla fronte grondante, il nostro prova ad imitare il rock speranzoso di Springsteen, ma ci lascia come ci trova. A cosa servono poi "Blue Jeans And A Rosary", country alla solita maniera ed appena passabile, e la finale "Half Your Age", altro episodio old yankee con un piano blues a sostituire il violino della tradizione? Per non parlare di "When You Love Someone", in cui da un momento all'altro t'attente il riff di "Blaze Of Glory" di Jon Bon Jovi, che invece non arriva mai...
Cosa aggiungono, questi brani, alla sterminata e mai affievolita produzione rock e country? Cos'ha di nuovo da dire questo biondo giovine? Cosa, che possa giustificare l'altra manciata di milioni di copie che sta attualmente vendendo in America, con questo discaccio? E cosa dovrebbe esserci, di degno d'una vendita in Europa, e d'un eventuale successo anche in Italia?
Come può pretendere di rincoglionirci con tematiche "vita americana della gente semplice", uno che ha un nome d'arte come il suo? Come può avere la presunzione di mescere al suo proverbiale cattivo gusto tutti questi riferimenti sacri, visto che si sposa le playmates per divorziarci quattro mesi dopo? Come può intitolare questo disco "Rock'n'Roll Jesus", in modo tale da far apparire tale dicitura in copertina assieme al suo nome? Non è che crede d'esser lui, il nuovo padreterno del rock?
Insomma, dopo questa attenta disamina, andare a procurarsi questo cd equivale ad unirsi a Kid Rock in quella che è un'imperdonabile bestemmia. Vade retro!
Elenco tracce testi e video
02 Amen (04:40)
It's another night in hell
Another child won't live to tell
Can you imagine what it's like to starve to death
And as we sit free and well
Another soldier has to yell
Tell my wife and children
I love them in his last breath
C'mon now amen, amen, amen, amen
Habitual offenders
Scumbag lawyers with agendas
I'll tell you sometimes people
I don't know what's worse
Natural disasters
Or these wolves-in-sheep-clothed pastors
Now God damn it I'm scared
To send my children to church
And how can we seek salvation
When our nation's race relations
Got me feeling guilty of being white
But faith in human nature
Our creator and our savior
I'm no saint but I believe in what is right
C'mon now amen, amen
I said amen, amen
Stop pointing fingers
And take some blame
Pull your future
Away from the flame
Open up your mind and start to live
Stop short-changing your neighbors
Living off hand outs and favors, and maybe
Give a little bit more than you got to give
Simplify, testify
Identify, rectify
And if I get high
Stop being so uptight
It's only human nature
And I am not a stranger
So baby won't you
Stay with me tonight
And when a calls away
To break the sound
I'm fading down
I need someone
Oh to be someone
They just sinking down
And holding back
I hold the dawn and run
They don't save a child
Oh, to save a child
It's a matter of salvation
From them patience up above
So don't give up so damn easy
On the one you love (one you love)
Somewhere you got a brother, sister
Friend, grandmother, niece or nephew
Just dying to be with you
You know there's someone out there
Who unconditionally, religiously loves you
So just hold on 'cause you know it's true
And if you can take the pain
And you can withstand anything
And one day stand
Hand in hand with the truth
I said amen, I said amen
I said amen, I said amen
03 All Summer Long (04:56)
It was 1989
My thoughts were short, my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen
And she was far from in-between
It was summertime in northern Michigan
Splashing through the sandbar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Catching walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun
We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock n' roll
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Now nothing seems as strange
As when the leaves begin to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I hear that song
And I start to sing along
And think "Man, I'd love to see that girl again"
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
And we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love down by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle
Not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
Singing "Sweet Home Alabama" all summer long
04 Roll On (06:12)
Sittin' here alone
I'm lookin back on where I've roamed
And laughing, oh how I swore
I'd win and not get burned
Left my family, left my home
I worked my fingers to the bone
And there was not a stone
I did not leave unturned
And I was having a good time
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight
Money and success
I don't complain about the stress
I wanted this and now its here
So I don't bitch
And I swear that time's a trick
It disappears oh so quick
Man I was just 16,
Now I'm staring at 36
But I'm still having a good time! (Good time!)
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight (Roll on tonight)
And I know it's hard to see
With the sun in your eyes
But one day you're gonna say
I saw the light
And now headin' for the hill
And I just cannot wait until
My children grow up
To have children of their own
And I'll be telling them about
The times I turned the party out
And how I stood
Against an army all alone
Drinkin' wine and stayin' high
And realized it couldn't last
And how I turned myself around
And went down another path
And the signs we must observe
When life's changes do occur
But most of all I'll tell them
Just how proud I am of them
And always have a good time
It's all love and good times
Let's all have a good time
Oh, roll on
Roll on, roller coaster
We're one day older
And one step closer
Roll on, there's mountains to climb
Roll on, we're on borrowed time
So roll on roller coaster
Roll on tonight (Roll on tonight)
05 So Hott (04:06)
You got a body like the devil
And you smell like sex
I can tell you're trouble
But I'm still obsessed
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
You're like the kiss of death
Like the hand of fate
I can tell you're trouble
But I still wanna taste
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
Because you know you're
So hott, I wanna get you alone
So hott, I wanna get you stoned
So hott, I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
You're so hott, I wanna get you alone
I wanna get you stoned
I don't wanna be your friend
I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again
See you again
See you again
06 Sugar (03:44)
Hard to remember
If anything was real
Cold like December
And I don't like how that feels
I been livin' a long time
I been givin' a long time too
And I can't believe
I wasted so much time on you
But time has brought me back around
Back around to me
And I feel so free, yeah
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Bad like Brutus, hit like Joe Louis
I gots lots of cash but I'm not Jewish
I'm not no nudist, I'm fully clothed
And I fuck hot pussy until it's cold
Got rhymes of gold, Got a voice of platinum
I'm not Dwayne Wayne but that's what's happening
I'm back in black and if ya have to ask
You can kiss my Anglo-Saxon ass
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Hot like a toddie, smooth like Mondovi
Around the way they call me Bathroom Bobby
Sugar is my hobby and my greatest joy
And that's why they call me "cowboy"
No jive, I come alive like Frampton
I'm bigger than Seinfeld's house in the Hamptons
Cramp my style, go ahead and give it your best
But I ain't met a muthafucka who can do that yet
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Sugar tonight, Sugar tonight
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Whoo hoo, whoo hoo
Now who's gonna give me some sugar tonight
Whoo hoo, whoo hoo
They call me Shotgun Bobby, rock the young hotties
Jock the John Gottis, sock the paparazzi
Real life Fonzie, I roll like Yahtzee
I like stars and bars but I ain't no Nazi
So fuck you, fuck you in the nose
Fuck you and your flows, fuck you and your hoes
Fuck you and your mother if you can't understand it
I'm the illest muthafucker on the God damn planet
Huh
08 New Orleans (06:36)
Come on
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans and leavin' all of this behind
Headin' south from Detroit
I got Cajun cookin' on my mind
When I get to New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
Yeah in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
I'll be high 10 Rollin' till the early morning break daylight
A jambalaya and a crawfish pie gonna start my day
But when the sun goes down we gonna "bon temps roulez"
Hey
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans where the stars on the sidewalk shine
Burnin' through Mississippi with the Big Easy on my mind
When I get to New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
Yeah in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
And I'm gonna party like the devil if the Neville brothers play tonight
Jambalaya and a crawfish pie gonna make my day
Down on the Bayou singing Hey Pocky Way
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
Down in New Orleans good peoples they's hard to find
I bet he's making gumbo and drinkin' homemade wine
A jukebox shakin' and breakin' down in New Orleans
I'll be the highest hillbilly that Bourbon Street has ever seen
Oh yeah, yeah
I'm goin' down to New Orleans to see about a friend of mine
I'm goin' down to New Orleans and leavin' all of this behind
If the good Lord's willing and the rivers don't start to rise
And when I get to New Orleans someone's gonna treat me right
Said in a town like New Orleans someone gonna treat me right
All the cats in the cradle gonna rock this kid tonight
Oh hey
A jukebox shakin' and breakin' down in New Orleans
And if you're payin' for fun a french quarters really all you need
I'm going Down to New Orleans
Down to New Orleans
(Repeat)
Going down, down
Down, down tonight
(Repeat)
10 Blue Jeans and a Rosary (04:35)
All my life I've been searchin'
All my life I've been uncertain
I been abandoned and left alone
At fifteen I had to leave home
The black sheep, the bad seed
At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me
She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood
Two packs and a pint a day
To hide the shame
And wash away the pain
Aww the pain
Every road was a dead-end street
Runnin' from the law
And runnin' on empty
You couldn't shake the marks that were left on me
At a roadside bar in Tennessee
I met an angel to rescue me
She rescued me
She wore blue jeans and a rosary
Believed in God and believed in me
All her friends think she's a little crazy
She wears a smile, heart on her sleeve
Don't give a damn what the world thinks of me
She tells me it's all good
She's happy with a bad seed
Happy to be misunderstood
(Repeat)
Misunderstood
Misunderstood
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