The Pick of Destiny
Soundtrack - 13 novembre 2006 - Debaser id 369665

'''Jack Black (Narrator)'''
A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.

But nay there was a black sheep,
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B.
And he refused to step in line.

A vision he did see-eth
Fuckin' rocking all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align.

'''Young Jack Black'''
Oh the dragon's balls were blazin'
As I stepped into his cave,
Then I sliced his fuckin' cockles,
With a long and shiney blade!

'twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fuckalize sing fuckaloo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you too!

Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta fuck a chode in the party zone!
Aahhhhhh!

'''Meat Loaf (Jack's Father)'''
You've disobeyed my orders son,
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more!

This music that you play for us
Comes from the depths of hell,
Rock and roll's the devil's work,
He wants you to rebel.

You'll become a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.

You better shut your mouth,
You better watch your tone!
You're grounded for a week with no telephone!

Don't let me here you cry,
Don't let me hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

'''Young Jack Black'''
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone...
I'm askin' for your guidance,
Won't you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadré
Who will teach me how to rock.
My father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a cock.

Rock is not the devil's work,
It's magical and rad.
I'll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my dad...

'''Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster)'''
I hear you brave young Jables,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient methods,
Sacred doors you must unlock.

Escape your father's clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!

In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band!

To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons,
Now go my son and rock!

'''Jack Black (Narrator)'''
So he went from fuckin' Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart,
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art.

But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart.

Rooooock!
Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock.
Raye-yayayayaye-yock.

Can’t you see he’s the man,
Let me hear you applaud,
He is more than a man
He's a shiny golden god.

If you think its time to fucking rock,
And fucking roll, out of control
Well then you know you've got to rock the block,
You fucking suck, my fucking cock

Cause when you rule, you fucking school,
All of the fools, out of their jewels
Cause if you think it’s time to,
If you think it’s time to,
If you think it’s time to fucking rooooock.

He is going to kick your fucking ass,
And you know his name is Kyle Gass
Rocking and fucking rolling,
And fucking rocking, and fucking rolling
And fucking.....(JB SKIT)

I can't get to sleep tonight
No matter how hard I try
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the wind is a whistlin'
And I can't seem to put out the light

Momma's been searching for baby
But baby been tryin' to get home
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the moon cannot light the way
And Daddy's gone, bye bye

I'm just a babyyyyy

[crying]

[JB]
I've had this birthmark since I was born,
It's the name of our fucking band dude.

[KG]
I have an ass mark too

Oooh
They must pay the rent
With their rock
(JB) Oh hoooooooooooooooo!!!

Aaaaaa, Aaaaaaa, Aaaaaaaa, Aaaaaaaaa,
Aaaaa, Aaaaa, Aaaaaa, Aaaaaa,
Aa, Aa, Aa, Aa, Aa, Aa, Aa,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAA YEAH !

I do not need, (he does not need)
a microphone (a microphone)
My voice is fuckin, (fuckin)
Powerful!!

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo YEAH!

[Solo]

OhAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa YEAH!

Sorry
I did not mean, (he did not mean)
to blow your mind (to blow your mind)
But that shit happens to me,
all the time!

[Many hands solo]

Now take a look (take a look)
tell me what do you see? (what do you see?)
We got the Pick
of Destinyyyyyyyyyyy-aaaaaaaaa!

AAAH! Arghhh!!

[spoken]
What's it gonna be Kyle?
You have to decide.
Tits or destiny?

Tits.

[sung]
AAAHHH OHHHHH WAAHHH OHHHH

WHYYYY GO!!

'''Sasquatch:''' Arrgggghhhh!
'''JB:''' Arrrggghhhh!
'''Sasquatch:''' That's good, let's go an adventure,
'''JB:''' Yeah, (la la la)
'''Sasquatch:''' I've got lots to show you, (la la laaa)
'''JB:''' Can I be a sasquatch too? (la la la)
'''Sasquatch:''' You already are la la la you're my son JB, my wittle baby sass, (la la la la la la la la la la la la)
'''JB:''' Ahhh.
'''Sasquatch:''' Lets take a dip in the strawberry river, (la la la)
'''JB:''' Yay!
'''Sasquatch:''' C'mon! (C'mon baby lets go!)

Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my papasass!
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!
Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my papasass!
Ooh la la la, oo papagenu, he's my sassafrass!

'''JB:''' Wheeeee!
'''Sasquatch:''' We're flying!
'''JB:''' We're flying!
'''Sasquacth:''' Hold on boy!

'''JB:''' Down where the sasquatch hide,
In the misty mountainside,
He's got shiny diamonds that he's got to protect,
Look into the sasquatch eye,
then you'll know that sass can fly.
Sasquatch is my daddy and he's going to protect me!
Half man, half machine,
On the cover of a magazine,
Bigfoot is my father and he's got to protect me!
These lyrics don't make sense,
Think I've found the evidence,
That yeti is my papa and he wants to protect me!

[Guitar solo]

Dude, I totally miss you
I really fucking miss you
I'm all alone,
All the time, all the time

Dude, I totally miss you
The things we did together
Where have you gone?

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, I totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, I totally miss you
All the time

Ah, Ah
Ah, Ah

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, I totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, I totally miss you
All the time

[Guitar solo]

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, I totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, I totally miss you
All the time

All the time!

[Dave Grohl] I am complete!

[Tenacious D] Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

[DG] Yes you are fucked, shit out of luck
Now I'm complete and my cock you will suck
This world will be mine and you're first in line
You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!

[Jack Black] Wait! Wait! Wait!
You motherfucker
We challenge you to a rock off!
Give us one chance to rock your socks off

[DG] Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
The demon code prevents me
From declining a rock off challenge
What are your terms? What is the catch?

[JB] If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell
And also you will have to pay our rent

[DG] And what if I win?

[JB] Then you can take Kage back to hell...

[Kyle Gass] What?

[JB] Trust me Kage, it's the only way,

[KG] What the fuck are you talking about?

[JB] ...to be your little bitch.

[DG]
Fine! Let the rock off begin! Hahahahaa
I'm the devil I love metal!
Check this riff it's fucking tasty
I'm the devil I can do what I want,
Whatever I got I'm gonna flaunt,
There's never been a rock off that I've ever lost
I can't wait to take Kage back to hell
I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel
I'll make him squeal like the Scarlet Pimpernel

[JB] Noooooo! c'mon Kage bring the thunder.

[KG] There's just no way that we can win,
That was a masterpiece.

[JB] Listen to me

[KG] He rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man

[JB] Goddamn it Kage,
He gonna make you his sex slave,
You're gonna gargle mayonnaise

[KG] Noooo

[JB] Unless we bust a massive monster mamma-jam.

[KG] Dude, we've been through so much shit,

[JB] Deactivated lasers with my dick

[Tenacious D] Now it's time to blow this fucker down!

[JB] C'mon Kage now it's time to blow doors down

[KG] I hear you Jables now it's time to blow doors down

[JB] Light up the stage 'cos it's time for a showdown

[KG] We'll bend you over then we'll take ya to brown town

[Tenacious D] Now we've got to blow this fucker down

[KG] He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down

[JB] C'mon Kage cuz it's time to blow doors down

[KG] Ooooooh, we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the black out

[JB] Hey Antichrist-a, Beelzeboss,
We know your weakness, our rock-it sauce
We rock the casbah, and blow your mind
We will defeat you, for all mankind
You hold the scepter,
We hold the key
You are the devil,
We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D, We are The D,
We are The D...

[DG]
You guys are fuckin' lame. Come on Kage, You're comin with me.
Taste my lightning fucker!

[JB] NOOOO!

[DG]
Ow! Fuck!
My Fuckin' horn!
Ooohh no!

[JB] From whence you came you shall remain,
Until you are complete again

[DG]
Nooooooo! Fuck you Kage and Fuck you Jables!
I'll get you Tenacious D!

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny, child,
More precious than a diamond on a platinum chain.

In Venice Beach there was a man named Kage.
When he buskin' he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well.
All the techniques that were developed in Hell.
Cock-pushups and the power slide.
Gig simulation now there's nowhere to hide.
They formed a band they named Tenacious D.
and then they got the Pick Of Destiny.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child,
You know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny, child,
Our tasty grooves are better than a chicken chow mein.

Cause he who is sleazy,
Is easy to pleasy.
And she who is juicy,
Must be loosy-goosey.
And he who is groovy,
Will be in my movie, so come on!

The wizard and the demon had a battle royale,
The demon almost killed him with an evil kapow.
But then he broke his tooth,
And thus the demon said Ow.

Cause it's the Pick of Destiny, child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fuckin' insane.
It's just the Pick of Destiny, child,
you know our movie's better than The Citizen Kane

Cause he who's a geezer,
Must live in my freezer.
And she who is snarky,
Is full of malarkey.
And he who is groovy,
Must be in my movie, so come on!

Cause if you're a diva,
Then go to Geneva.
And if you're a crony,
Then suck on my boney.
And if you are groovy,
Then get in my movie,
It's called the Pick of Destiny.
It's called the Pick of Destiny!

You can't kill the metal,
the metal will live on
Punk-Rock tried to kill the metal,
but they failed as they were smacked to the ground
New-wave tried to kill the metal,
but they failed as they were stricken down to the ground
Grunge tried to kill the metal,
(Ha Ha Ha) they failed as they were thrown to the ground

No-one can destroy the metal
The metal will strike you down with a vicious blow
We are the vanquished foes of the metal
We tried to win for why we do not know

New-wave tried to destroy the metal
but the metal had its way
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal
but metal was in the way
Punk-rock tried to destroy the metal
but metal was much too strong
Techno tried to defile the metal
but techno was proven wrong. Yeah!

Metal it comes from hell